Kingdom Impact

Kingdom Impact. Those are big words and I’m thankful to have these words in my life. I want so much in this lifetime. I have big God sized dreams.  A new house in the mountains, I’d love new clothes for me and my family, new hair regularly lol, I want to travel and see the world, I want to pay for cars and college for my kids and poor Gary, I want jet skis and a boat and a vacation home in Idaho. I want to hike through countries with just a backpack and go to concerts and be able to give freely and retire someday. I have old lady goals! But my earthy wants and desires are a dream, God sized dreams but dreams nonetheless. Fasting does something to me, I change and go deeper with God each time I fast. I’m hungry for a deeper understanding of scripture and life in Jesus. Radiant is entering into a time of fasting and prayer for our Kingdom Impact initiative that includes a ten million dollar building. I’m very close to this initiative. So close that I have been fasting for about sixty days before I enter into the corporate fast for fourty days and I will continue for a total of one hundred eleven days ending before Thanksgiving. I don’t want just earthly goals that will pass away in earthly dust. I want to make a kingdom impact long after I am rejoicing in Heaven. God has given me a number to give and it’s astronomic. We can’t afford the number that God has asked us to give even over a three year period. Im praying that God give Gary the same number for confirmation. It’s definitely a kiss your mountain home, hair appointments and vacations goodbye number. This number is troubling, life changing for my family, Jen needs a part time job life changing. However,  I believe in God, His timing, and His provision. I literally can see the staff at Radiant and our families writing scripture on the drywall. I can see people worshiping and encountering our Living God in this new campus building! I’m trusting God to provide for my family, for us to sacrifice greater together and for the hearts of Lilly and Owen to see the opportunity that lies ahead. I’m longing for humility and a deeper understanding of Kingdom Impact. Less of me, less of us and more of Him. 

A Little Hike

We went on a little hike after breakfast this morning. Colorado is so beautiful. 

Lilly

Lilly is playing in pepband and went to her first high school football game. She had way too much fun! I remember those days! She is only in middle school so tonight was a special night for the kids. She said to me, “I can’t wait until I can drive so I can go out with friends after games!” Ummmm nope :) 

Dear Pancreas

Between my thyroid and pancreas I’m a hot, sometimes cold mess! I had an attack last night that zonked me out. It’s the worst pain but when it’s over it’s over. Today I have been sore and have had a splitting headache, however, in my weakness He is strong. I have been trying to get out of my office for a quick walk each day. Sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn’t. The only thing about Ent that I miss was my daily lunch hour where I walked about three miles each day. We don’t have time for lunch breaks at the church, we are super busy. But I need that time even ten minutes to pray and feel God. It’s a huge misconception that because I work at a church that I sit around reading my bible and worshiping all day. Man, that would be amazing! The reality is we are busy, passionate and perfectionist as we work together for the Lord. I’m finding I’m a little stressed lol... and I need my walk and prayer to calm me down. I spent five minutes walking up the hill to literally see the roses. I didn’t smell today as my head is killing me and I couldn’t bend down. The view when I turn around to walk back to church could cure anything. I see God in the flowers and mountains! So, dear, pancreas you lose today! 

My Best Friend

God is amazing! I am not, lol. I am busy, really, really busy. Sometimes I forget things, I’m overbooked, over scheduled, and sleepy! Ha! I have an amazing friend and her name is Jennifer Doyle. I spent many days on the worship center floor with Jen praying and talking and I miss her dearly. She taught me something so special and that is balance and throwing things out. She taught me it’s okay to be unseen not to answer messages or open email. It’s okay not to react to everything. God spoke to me through her! Today I took a quick walk around the block of the church just to pray and hear God. And just as clearly as I could see the earth in front of me I felt His voice. He told me I spend way to much time on social media. I honestly have this love hate relationship with it. I use it for work but since that is not mandatory I’m going to fast it. We are going to be heading into a 40 day fast at the end of the month and I started early making mine a 111 days of prayer and fasting. I’m well into my fast. It was clear that God said to let this go. I’ll continue to update my blog but for now I’m seeking my Best Friend, the Holy Spirit. 

Mid Quater

When some of the country is just going back to school we have our mid-quater grades. Both kids are A/B students, Owen still does not have real grades but the equivalent is A/B grades. We are working on his reading and writing still but all in all he and Lilly are doing great! Lilly has started Art Club and Owen is almost back in basketball. We love the kids schools and are so thankful for all the teachers! One day I’d like to get Lilly’s rose tattooed on my shoulder. 

Community

Feeling alone when you know everyone in a room is an odd feeling. I read a quote today by Shelly Giglio that said “ the keys to ministry is to have a tender heart and thick skin.” I don’t believe that people understand ministry if they aren’t in it. I also don’t believe that people understand there is a very real enemy that is prowling around with demons constantly attacking and beating us down, unless they believe the words of the Bible. I have heard pastor’s and ministry leaders say time and again that ministry can be lonely. I have felt the lonely attacks of the enemy in a ferocious way lately. I must admit that just like everyone else my flesh is so weak, however, my God is so much bigger and in this season I believe He is moving in my weakness. We belong and I work for a LARGE church and we are growing, praise God! I know hundreds of people, I belong to an amazing staff who I think of as family and worship with an incredible passionate team of worship leaders. But yet I’m still longing for a deep connection. I am blessed to travel between our campuses which is amazing, however, this has a huge downfall. My family travels with me therefore never really putting down roots and seeing different people week to week. The people I work with and their families are the ones I  love the most and we are scattered over so many different buildings not to mention five service times, we hardly get to see or worship together. Part of my job and something I’m incredibly passionate about is building strong communities in Christ. It’s biblical, Jesus said we need community, iron sharpens iron.. I’m realizing I’m doing a great job at encouraging and building community and connecting people for everyone around, but me. I’m trusting God, His leading and His timing. It always amazes me how God works and moves in the different seasons of our lives. I love to write about these moments and revisit them and rejoice in the victory of God and the way He answers prayer. He always has an adventure for me and I’m in it! 

Long Weekends and BerMonth Traditions

My Furs

They are such a sweet part of our family. 

Be Still

I’m so thankful for my God. How He speaks to me when I quiet myself and listen. His word is truth and no-one will ever be able to tell me differently.